I Saw the Sign

  Standing in front of me on a giant white wall, with ugly teeth, and a gray body that reminded me of emptiness, I immediately felt a jolt, and I knew what was missing in my life: NOTHING.

The lack of human form in de Koonig's painting reminds me of the androgynous sculptures my grandfather is known for. In my advanced nonfiction writing workshop, I essayed about the relationship I long to have with my grandfather, as we both appreciate the arts, but my sudden epiphany at MOMA explained everything. Grandfather's sexless sculptures have no faces, because they are indeed just sculptures. They don't mimic people, because people are complex and flawed. My grandfather strives for perfection, and seeing de Koonig's painting, "Flesh," I suddenly realized, that I should embrace my flaws. "Flesh" to me became about accepting the human form and loving it for what it is. 

Perfection is exhausting. We shouldn't strive for perfection in our lives, we should strive for the best that we can give, and know that the best is good enough. As a cellist for 9 years, I gave up playing, frustrated that I would always be second chair (even in a group of 15 cellists). I now realize that second is good enough for me; second made me happy, and the euphoric feeling I have when I play Tchaikovsky is like no other feeling in the world.

I'm going to embrace the "good enough" attitude. At 24, I'm financially independent, I have a stable full-time job, live in a wonderful city with so much to offer, and amazing friends. All of this leads to happiness, and happiness is good enough. I can make hundreds of lists of ways that I can make my life more perfect, but if I'm happy now, than what's the point of perfection?

Quarter life crisis?

I find myself at one of those familiar forks in the road: Where am I going with my life? This is a typical gchat conversation among my friends near and far, who wonder the same thing. I'm referring to this as the quarter-life crisis: not old enough to buy a motorcycle, post-college mid-twenties yuppies often find themselves in this situation, freaking out about the future.

As I start to consider graduate degrees and where I want to end up, and how to stick to my five year plan, I often consult my mentors and role models. I strongly believe that Hillary Clinton should be every woman's role model, but others in my list include Marian Wright Edelman, Greg Mortenson, Golda Meir, Grace Kelley (for flawless style, of course), and most importantly, my mother.

My mother is the reason I have a five year plan; I look at her and know that I may wear Tory Burch reva flats over Cole Haan drivers, but I still want to follow in her footsteps. My mother is strong, brave, intelligent, and a fighter. She is extremely successful and but hard-working, a quality that my generation lacks. The next person under 30 who complains to me about how he/she is above whatever he/she is doing is going to get bitch-slapped. My mother has taught me forgiveness, how to trust, and how to want to be successful. My interest in renewable energy issues comes from my desire to want to be like her. I realize how lucky I am to have this role model- mentor relationship. I'm grateful everyday that I have such an inspirational person in my life, who inspires me to work the hardest I can, and be the best in me.

And so, my quarter-life crisis doesn't seem like a crisis after all, because I know that in the future, the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree, and I have a wonderful foundation already. 

LBD 2.0

It started with Audrey and a little Jewelry shop in NYC. (But for the TRUE Audrey fans, we all know Tiffany's is a dud, make sure you've seen How to Steal a Million and Charade)

The little black dress (LBD) is one of those closet essentials. It never goes out of style, is universally flattering, and can be dressed up or dressed down with the right accessories. As much as I like the standard shift, lately I've been rocking the embellished ones.

My current LBD obsession is the Antoinette dress from Tibi ($385)
Amy Smilovic (Tibi) is one of my label lushes, and I'm obsessed with her cap-sleeve dresses. This dress is the perfect blend of ladylike-edge. Enough so that I can pair it with black booties and stockings at night, or a tweed jacket and Mary-Janes during the day. Be adventurous! Vamp up your little LBD.